You may not realise it, but you are in a relationship with your money.
This is a strange concept for a lot of people to grasp, but let me tell you that your money relationship will determine your success in growing your money over time…
And it is irrefutable that money plays a very important part in your life.
If you struggle to understand how it is possible to have a relationship with money, let’s have a quick look at the definition of relationship.
One of the definitions of relationship in the noun form is: ‘a connection, association or involvement’.
So you can see from this definition that you and your money have a relationship, you are connected to it and have an involvement with it…
So why is your relationship with money relevant?
Well just like human relationships, how you relate to your money will determine how well the relationship works for you.
Whether you want to grow your money or just spend it, how you do that depends on your money relationship.
Does the thought of money, and growing your money bring you joy and thoughts of an expansive and wealthy life, or does it invoke in you anxiety and fear, or maybe rejection, guilt or shame?
Whatever emotion it stirs up in you, it all relates to your relationship with money.
Let’s have a look at 5 of the most common types of relationships with money, and see which one you can relate to the most.
Once you know the type of money relationship you have, you are better equipped to know how it impacts your ability to grow your money.
The Five Money Relationship Types
The pursuer money relationship is based on the mindset that if I could just get some more money everything would be alright, I’ll be happy then.
Once I have more money I will start to think about investing and growing my wealth.
The problem with this money relationship is that you never really get to develop a relationship with money.
When you get it, you tend to ignore it as you pursue more money…
This can often result in your money flowing away from you as you haven’t placed any value on it.
There is a great saying that summarises this scenario – ‘Money flows to those who value it the most’.
Until I understood money, this is the type of money relationship that I had…
I thought this was the way forward, get more, make more, and then grow it, but it doesn’t work that way.
The Over Protective
The over protective money relationship is based on fear…
You fearfully let money into your life, you take the safe job and look for certainty in all your money decisions.
Your fear of losing makes you over protective of your money and therefore fearful of investing in case you lose.
So instead of getting your money working for you, you lock it away, maybe in a low interest savings account, or worse under the bed (don’t laugh it happens).
Your money becomes stifled, it can’t grow and do what you need it to.
The over protective money relationship often results in money just whittling away.
The spiritual money relationship sees money as dirty, evil, of little consequence, and results in a stand offish relationship…
There is a complete disconnect in this relationship, you don’t want to get too close to money because you believe it is dirty.
This makes it hard to have a relationship with money as it is completely at odds with your feelings of what it means to have money.
The guilt money relationship is where you feel shame if you have money, or guilt for wanting to have money.
This tends to lead to binge spending to get rid of it… you don’t want money to stay in your life so you spend it as quickly as it comes in.
Your guilt or shame also has you pretending you don’t have it or giving it all away.
This money relationship is a difficult one, because you realise you want it and need it, but when you get it, you have this guilt or shame.
This is the money relationship that you should be aiming for…
The healthy money relationship is where you recognise that money is a core component of your life.
A healthy money relationship recognises that money can bring you joy, can be used to contribute to others and used to release your full potential.
Money is a positive contributor to your life.
The Way Forward
Now that you know the most common types of money relationships, which one can you identify with?
Based on the relationship type that you selected, is it the type that you would want to stay in, that would make you feel good, nurtured, supported, and one that you would want to remain in?
If not, then you have the opportunity to work on it and build the type of relationship that you want, like the healthy relationship…
By recognising where you are now, you are one step closer to change.
They say recognising the problem is half the solution, right!
The most important piece of advice I can give you, if you want to have a healthy money relationship, is to understand how money flows in your life.
A lot of people will suggest you make a budget and stick to it…
Well budgets aren’t the solution in my opinion.
Rather, it is better to understand where your money currently flows, where you are sending your money.
If there is a shortfall each period, make the adjustments necessary to create a surplus…
This means analysing your spending and identifying where you can make some savings.
You have to get to the point that you have a surplus.
Once you have this process sorted, you are free to have a more positive money relationship that can be nurtured to grow your money and your wealth.
Budgets are too constraining and will not improve your money relationship, instead they are likely to just make matters worse…
Particularly if you relate to the ‘Over protective’ or ‘Spiritual’ money relationship type to begin with.
The aim is to free you up, to remove the stress around money.
Identifying and acknowledging where your money flows empowers you to move to the next level, which is to grow your money.
When you feel empowered about your money, you are more able to have a positive money relationship.
So this week, first identify the type of money relationship you currently have, and then what you need to do to change it to the one you really want.
Leave me a comment below, let me know your current and preferred type. Just by commenting below you will be taking the first step forward.