“Money,” they say, “doesn’t grow on trees.” Sure, we get it. But did anyone ever let you in on the real laws of money?
Did you know that money has its own zany constitution, penned in invisible ink on our paper bills, readable only through the lens of experience and wisdom?
Well, you’re in luck, because today we’re going to decode the 10 commandments of money in a way that would make Reserve Banks chuckle.
The Law of Invisibility
Money is like a ninja – it has a knack for disappearing when you’re not watching. One moment, your wallet is bursting at the seams, and the next, it’s on a hunger strike.
You don’t remember where it went, and the only evidence left behind is some faded restaurant receipts and a bizarre garden gnome you don’t remember buying.
The Theory of Money Relativity
This is Einstein’s lesser-known theory. It states that the perception of money’s value is directly relative to your circumstances.
That $5 sandwich tasted like a gourmet meal when you were a broke college student. Now, it’s just a prelude to the main course at a fancy restaurant. Funny how that works, huh?
The Law of Financial Attraction
Similar to the ‘Law of Attraction’, the amount of money you possess is directly proportional to the intensity of your thoughts.
If you’re always thinking about being broke, you’ll attract empty pockets.
If you think rich, you might just find a forgotten $20 bill in an old pair of jeans. Mind-boggling, right?
The Golden Rule of Spending
This is an important one. Always remember, it’s not about how much you earn, it’s about how much you keep.
This is why, despite making six figures, Bob next door still can’t afford that gold-plated toilet seat he’s been eyeing.
This is where having a plan for your money, like the one I teach with our money planner, is so crucial to creating an environment for success with money.
The Law of Monetary Karma
This law is based on the ancient principle that “what goes around comes around.”
If you’ve been generous with your money, you’ll reap the benefits eventually.
This is not an excuse to lend money to your chronically broke cousin, though. Instead, one of the ways I like to use this law is to pay for other people’s coffee at a cafe, without them knowing I’ve done it. Knowing that a simple gesture will bring a smile to their face, and leave a positive impact for the rest of the day is all I need to know. Try it for yourself.
The Buy-One-Get-One Free Paradox
Ah, the BOGOF trap!
It states that the money saved on ‘buy one, get one free’ is directly proportional to the money you didn’t need to spend in the first place. Yes, we know those awesome shoes are on sale, but do you really need two pairs?
The Lottery Principle
Your chances of winning the lottery are about the same as being struck by lightning while being bitten by a shark.
Don’t rely on it for your retirement fund, unless you have a pet cloud who’s chummy with the local sharks.
The Latte Factor
If you saved the money you spent on overpriced coffee every day, you could probably buy a coffee plantation in a few years.
But then, who can function without their daily caffeine fix, right? Well actually me, but that’s not normal 🙂
The Cryptocurrency Conundrum
The value of your cryptocurrency changes more often than the weather.
One minute, you’re a Bitcoin billionaire, the next, you’re considering trading your digital empire for a sandwich.
This zany law is all about risk management, the lesson may be disguised, but don’t let it slip past.
The Law of Forgotten Funds
The joy of finding money in an old coat pocket or purse is greater than earning the same amount after a hard day’s work.
It’s like your past self left a gift for your future self. Isn’t that sweet?
Conclusion
There you have it, the 10 commandments of money, served with a side of sarcasm and a sprinkle of humor.
Remember, while these laws are delivered with a lighthearted spirit, they carry valuable lessons. Money management doesn’t have to be a dreary task. It can be fun and even entertaining if you know the right rules to play by!
So the next time you find yourself befuddled by the game of money, just remember these laws. You might not become a millionaire overnight (unless you’re chummy with those local sharks), but you’ll definitely gain a richer perspective.
Keep planning your money, and remember, wisdom, unlike money, does grow on trees (if you consider books as intellectual trees!). So, invest in learning, and laugh all the way to the bank!
If you are ready to change your financial future and want to talk about how you can get started, schedule your FREE Smart Investor Consult Call here. There is nothing to buy and nothing to lose. If not now, then when, right?